Deadly Plagues

As I have mentioned before about my immune system... I apparently don't have one. That or it has, like Amanda Bynes, taken all that it can and retired.

Monday: Severe allergies.

• I went through a roll and a half of toilet paper and finished up a box of Kleenex. By severe I mean perma nose faucet and continual sneezing from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. (which was about the time I ate dinner, took a healthy dose of Benadryl, and peaced out to the world for about the next 14 hours). 

Tuesday: Food poisoning.

• Dear Joe Banditos restaurant,
         
                  I hate you. I hate you with the passion of a thousand suns. Not only did you make me throw up 7 times yesterday (one of which was in Walmart. WALMART! Worst place ever to have to throw up fyi), but also for the fever, dehydration, and 12 minutes of sleep that I got last night.
  
  

Wednesday (today): Migraine.

• Food Poisoning hangover.
  
  

Thursday (forecast for tomorrow): Locusts and/or all the water around me turning into blood.

• I'm fairly certain if things continue to go the way they have the past two days, I should have finished all the plagues by Saturday or Sunday.
  

 Bring it on.


Morals of Post:

• Amanda Bynes, really? Life sure is rough.
  
• Joe Banditos caused 5 people to have to call in sick to their work and think they were going to die. We ALL hate you.