Friday, October 15, 2010


My family all got together for a family dinner the other night and my mom called me into the office. When I walked in I found her sitting at the computer with a frustrated look on her face...

Now this might be a good time to explain how computer illiterate my parents are. Lets just say they are about as talented with the computer as Nicolas Cage and Brendan Fraser are as actors.

All of the above; painful to watch.

"Hey Hawk, how is it that you get to YouTube again?"

I looked over at the computer screen and saw a myriad of things that had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

First of all, my parents only use Internet Explorer. When they first started using it it looked like any other regular ol' Internet Explorer browser, but now it looks like a 13 year old girl's web browser. The toolbar at the top has somehow quadrupled in size and now contains everything from 'definitions of the day' to an emoticon library. After interrogating both of my parents separately about this, they both blamed the other for the additions and for being the reason the computer was so slow nowadays.

I look over only to see that my mom has typed in the box where you put your zip code to find out the weather, typed in the 'find' function that searches the browser's page, and last but not least typed in the horoscope box where you type in your month of birth (all of which, might I add, can be found on one of the 9+ toolbars stacked up at the top of the browser).

With a little assistance...

"Well let's see. Click over here. And, um, go ahead and type (u as in y-o-u) up here in this box... and hit enter."

The page loaded and read,


Wow, now even YouTube was taking shots at my mom.

[awkward silence]

I finally open up a Firefox window for her and get her all settled in, and I show her the little box that she can use to find the video she is looking for.

This is what I watch her type...

That was all I could handle with a straight face. So, I left her to her skydiving...

...and I guess we'll never know.

Moral of Post:
  • My mother is infinitely more hip than I will ever be; don't be fooled by her lack in YouTube query skills. Lest we forget, this is the woman who introduced me to the 'Don't cha wish your girlfriend were hot like me' song, same woman who has a cooler iTunes library than I do and most likely ever will, and the same woman who tells me what music videos I should check out... of which I usually end up taking credit for when I show them to my friends.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Why I Hate Voicemail

Well, I have a problem...

I'll even admit it.

I just tried leaving a message on someone's voicemail. Ten minutes later, I look down and see this on my phone.

glaring back at me. 


 Morals of the Post:
  • Does my voice REALLY sound like that?!
  • And yes, all my messages really ARE urgent and confidential... deal with it.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Going Green One Decibel at a Time

I think I just heard someone in Connecticut open a Sun Chips bag.

Moral of Post:
  • Not only great for composting; but I'm willing to bet a pretty penny or two that this is going to be the new hipster's rape whistle.
Unfortunate Update: Hipsters you are out of luck (yet again); they are discontinuing the Sun Chips eco friendly bags, but lucky for you they'll be vintage in a month... so stock up.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Reason #495 for Treadmills

Do you ever drive past people that are running on the sidewalk and think,

'Wow. Do I look like that when I run?!'

[self conscious panic]

Moral of Post:
  • I haven't seen a run/strut like that since Hocus Pocus.
  • That being said; I'd take a runner over a cyclist any day.

Remember when..