Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Deadly Plagues

As I have mentioned before about my immune system... I apparently don't have one. That or it has, like Amanda Bynes, taken all that it can and retired.

Monday: Severe allergies.
  • I went through a roll and a half of toilet paper and finished up a box of Kleenex. By severe I mean perma nose faucet and continual sneezing from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. (which was about the time I ate dinner, took a healthy dose of Benadryl, and peaced out to the world for about the next 14 hours). 

Tuesday: Food poisoning.
  • Dear Joe Banditos restaurant,
                    I hate you. I hate you with the passion of a thousand suns. Not only did you make me throw up 7 times yesterday (one of which was in Walmart. WALMART! Worst place ever to have to throw up fyi), but also for the fever, dehydration, and 12 minutes of sleep that I got last night.

Wednesday (today): Migraine.
  • Food Poisoning hangover.

Thursday (forecast for tomorrow): Locusts and/or all the water around me turning into blood.
  • I'm fairly certain if things continue to go the way they have the past two days, I should have finished all the plagues by Saturday or Sunday.
 Bring it on.

Morals of Post:
  • Amanda Bynes, really? Life sure is rough.
  • Joe Banditos caused 5 people to have to call in sick to their work and think they were going to die. We ALL hate you.

1 comment:

  1. I just wanted to let you know, I got your Amanda Bynes joke. And then I laughed.


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