Monday, March 15, 2010

Caffiene Patches

Sweet Mercy was today a Coke day...

I have found an interesting correlation between days at work that drag on for ever and my coke intake... today was such a day.

Luckily I work right next to a drug store - which is a blessing and a curse all in one. For example:

  • Coke for a buck! You heard me... while all you other suckas are out at the gas station shellin' out the big bucks for an 8 oz. sip of coke, I get this beauty which INCLUDES a bendy straw and two pumps of cherry... all of which -I'm fairly certain- are Oprah's favorite things.

  • Hours of endless entertainment watching senior citizen after senior citizen try and park their boats into compact car spaces in the parking lot.

  • The fact that the peeps at the drug store let me stroll right on up behind the counter and get my own drinks... which you may think to yourself, "Instead of being helped you have to do the work yourself; yeah, real cool." But I'm telling you its not until you burst through the door with your shaky hands and beaty little eyes on a caffeine withdrawal and you see there are thirty seniors deciding if they want to add some spice to their life and get pralines in cream in their shake, or play it safe and stick with sugarless vanilla, will you understand the miracle it is to rush up in front of everyone and help yourself to the sweet nectar of the gods. Its kinda like going to Disneyland with some one in a wheelchair and going to the front of every line while you pass the poor saps that have been waiting in line for hours to get on the ride. (Which I got to do once... highly recommend it)
  • Unfortunately almost all of said seniors (who have just spent the last 45 minutes parking mind you) come into my work before they hit up the drug store to fill up their prescriptions. Riddle me this... Have you ever been the one thing that stands between a crotchety old man and his prescription? Pray that you never do. I'm sure there will be many a post about those adventures in el futuro.

  • I blame the economy for the next Con; two-penny penny candy. Since when did penny candy cost two pennies?! That's a 100% markup! Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of the name "penny" candy in the first place?! Though I am morally opposed and sickened by this, I find that my dependency on Swedish fish outweighs any moral obligations. If I didn't think I'd be rocking the boat and lose my "get your own drink" privilege I'd bring up the ridiculous two-penny penny candy issue to the owner... but alas the angry letter will remain anonymous. For now.

  • I feel that there has to be a third Con mostly because I'm OCD and it would drive me crazy having it be 3 pros and only 2 cons instead of a healthy 3 and 3 - so the next con is more of a love hate relationship with the fact that they used to have the greatest ice-cream known to man; Cherry BoBerry. Which only after having set me up on a bi-weekly dependency on the stuff did they take it away and later reveal that it had been discontinued for an indefinite amount of time a.k.a. "thats what we are going to tell you because we're scared you'll go bat-crazy on us when we tell you that actually 'indefinite amount of time' means never."
Until I can get my hands on some some caffeine patches... I guess I will have to settle for my Coke runs.

Moral of the post:
  • Encourage your own grandparents to be nice to people that they interact with on a daily basis... because while you may get 10 bucks in a card on your birthday once a year from your grandparents... I on the other hand, am getting the wrath of mild to moderate confusion per old age and seriously get the brunt end of the stick... help a brotha out.

1 comment:

reading a post without leaving a comment is like drinking a
32 oz. Coke and not burping after; it's just not healthy.

Remember when..