Friday, March 19, 2010

And the Award Goes To...

So yesterday I took some blogging initiative and sent my blog address to some close friends to have them check it out - ya know, before I go global and all. (You hear that Coca-cola... before you see the number of Coke tabs and references go up in my blog you had better start showing the benjamins. Just sayin...)

So if you got a text yesterday, consider it like your own personal limited edition golden ticket.

Now enter my dilemma.

I know this may not be the time nor place to tell everyone to go out and get an iphone because it will change your life... but I have some pretty convincing and relevant evidence to back this up - for example:

So I sent out an invite text to Jan in the morning and about 5 hours later I get a series of texts back that say:

"What the crap... I need some soap."
"Um, you sent me to"
"Is this a joke? Cuz..."

What the?! The text that I sent to her wasn't a novel by any means and still somehow her phone decided to cut out the most important part. So now, I am in a panic that I had sent her to some site with highly racy pictures or whatever would cause her to be traumatized and need soap. Which then led to an even greater panic of what if every text that I had sent out had been cut off too and left my friends going to Hitler support blogs, or blogs of how to start your own cult, or worse yet a Rosie O'Donnell fanclub blog...


So I did a little detective work to find out all the possibilities of blogs that could have been cut off mid-link and could have been sent to friends. Just to make sure I wouldn't have to send out follow up warning texts to everyone. These are my results. I feel as if this should continue as if presenting Best Picture at the Oscars...

And the nominees are:
  • This one might win best international blog. After all it is written by the 'coolest guy in cyberspace' (love self pronounced titles) but alas... Its in Danish. and I'm sure we are all really missing out.
  • Matt, whom I'm guessing is a teenager going through the tough adolescent years, who can't spell 'the' right all the time but has definitely mastered certain 4 letter words which make up probably 78% of his blog. A moving story line with confusion, action, and drama all packed into one little blog with a hint of Croatian sass. A few of my favorite quotes:

    "My mom wants to know whats going on in my life... and I keep telling her nothing... I mean, I go to school and I go to work and then there are the nights when I go out where they think I am doing something naughty like hanging out with hardcore azn kolean gangstars, or hacking the gibson to r00t teh bawx0rs off the pentagon... I'm not that special... nor would I want to be... its not like I scream for attention or anything... "

    "I surprised I managed to fall asleep with all the noise I hear in my head..."

    I am not one to judge, but I think I'm going to have to side with the parents on this one... if I had kids I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want them to be hanging out with 'anz kolean gangstars' either. But hey, that's just me.
  • The Debbie Downer of the group... JT, a man with interests in the viewpoints that Canadians have on the US Government who also rattles off on Liberalism and Socialism in the US Government adding some of his own view points. "Ignore the fact that you have no control over what your children are taught at schools; what morals, or lack there of, are brainwashed into them."

    JT only made only two posts followed by nothing more than eerie silence. I don't want to jump to any drastic conclusions... but I 'm pretty sure JT was assassinated by liberals. Granted my assumption may be biased on the fact that 24 and the Bourne Supremacy were both on the other night, but none the less there is a lesson to be learned here... be friendly to all parties and don't make too big of waves unless you want to end up like JT... in a burlap bag at the bottom of the the Potomac River.
  • Out of all the nominees this one for sure is the least exciting. It has two posts in 2000 and both were at like 2:30 in the morning. Allow me to sum up the whole blog:

    "Mmmmmm" and "Test Test Test"

    Like I said, Boring.
  • Welcome to the Ghetto Art Gallery brought to you by Wesley McTizic III. (Please bless that this is his real name.)

    "Here is my first of many images of My wife-E....that is apart of a series of pin up art dedicated to her Ilove you BOO!!"
I think the reason that its named 'kward' is because 'awkward' was already taken.

  • We conclude with the site whose name had so much potential (who also, lest we forget, beat Wesley McTizic III to the rights of the blog name) I was more than disappointed when I opened it only to find the statement, "Boring stuff about my life...duh." and a big bold title that said JOURNAL followed by - well, go ahead click the link and I'll let you feel the dissapointment I experienced.

    I'm sorry pal but I think 'boring' was bit of an understatement.

So mystery solved. My apologies if your phone sabotaged your message and sent you to one of the sites above. Also, If you have a vote for 'best blog' of the the year from the 6 nominees above - feel free to leave it in the peanut gallery.

Morals of the Post:
  • If you don't have an iPhone yet, get one. All of this could have been avoided if...ramble, ramble, ramble...
  • All blogs were not created equal and not all blogs are good blogs. Lesson learned.
  • If you have trouble sleeping because of the 'noises' in your head - maybe protective parents are the least of your worries.


  1. Pretty sure this is the most hilarious thing I have ever read. It made me full on laugh out loud at work and now every one at work probably thinks I'm in the same category as the kid with all the 'noise' in his head hahahah My vote goes to Wesley McTizic III. Solely for the name cuz seriously, I'm still laughing from reading that. How cruel were his parents???

  2. once again...get out of my head. If you didn't notice in my blog post a few day ago...i said "please bless....". why are you my soulmate?

    also...fav part: if I had kids I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want them to be hanging out with 'anz kolean gangstars' either.

    i would vote for him. i like angry teenagers that focus their "head voices" into cyberspace. i think that's healthy.


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