Saturday, September 17, 2011

Onus Goatfish

Last night my friend Kiera was over at my apartment and told me that she had read through all of my posts after she had found out about my blog last week... [120 points to team Kiera. huzzah!] but my favorite part of the convo was when she said;

Kiera: I loved all of them! I kept having all my coworkers read them too; I couldn't stop reading them!
Me: Thanks!!
Kiera: Except one thing... being a psychology major, I think... well...
Me: Yeah?
Kiera: Well, its just that... you kinda have a ton of issues.
[semi-awkward pause]
Kiera: Ya know, like some of your post are pretty anxious; for example, kind of like this... or even this one.
Me: [laughing] Yeah, I know; that would definitely be one of the many reasons why I go to my therapist... thanks.

Speaking of my therapist... my friends affectionately refer to my therapist as 'Onus Goatfish'. This came about after a little auto-correct incident in a text message when trying to type 'therapist' (thank you iPhone auto-correct) and the name Onus Goatfish (O.G. for short) kinda stuck.

I don't know about you, but Onus Goatfish kind of sounds like some mythical ominous creature that offers up life advice and supplemental life wisdom, no?

We'll you'd pretty much be right.

The "Onus Goatfish" just got more and more used and developed; Nate and Libby even sketched down some ideas of what an 'Onus Goatfish' would look like; my favorite was a sketch of fat fish with goat legs and only one giant all-seeing eye... that may or may not also swim in space. I'm also pretty sure another looked like 1/3 fish with tusks, 1/3 goat with claws, and the other 1/3 looked an awful lot like a Narwhal.

Pretty deep if you think about it...


Also, in related news, one of my favorite birthday gifts this year was this t-shirt from Trina that she had made for me that says:

Morals of Post:

  • PSA Announcement of the Day: Everyone should have a little Onus Goatfish in their life. They are one of the single greatest things that the majority of people don't even take advantage of. I'm sad I didn't find my little Onus Goatfish sooner!

  • It's good to have friends that can handle any amount of crazy that you dish out. My advice; don't let those ones get away! For example, the other night I was hanging out with Addi and out of the blue he pulled out this memory out of his hat to tell Libby;

    Addi: About a week after Hawk bought his MacBook Pro I asked him how he liked it. He told me that he didn't know. I asked him what did he mean by 'I don't know?' He then proceded to tell me that he didn't know because it was still in the box unopened and that he had hid it in the back of his closet behind his hamper.

    Libby: Why on earth were you hiding it in your closet?

    Me: I was so excited to finally have it, but I was waiting for the buyers remorse to set in, and I didn't want to open it until I was sure I wouldn't return it.

    Libby: So did you take it back?

    Me: No, I would just go up to my closet every night for a week, pull it out, and stare at it for a while before putting it back in the back of the closet and then spending the whole next day trying to forget that I had a brand new MacBook Pro living in my closet waiting for me to use...

    For the record... I only lasted a week [as he types on his sleek and sexy backlit Apple MacBook Pro keys...]


  1. 1. Always love a shout out on the blog, made my day. Gracias!
    2. If you need an intensely emotional and somber testimonial for your PSA announcement/commercial, you just let me know. I volunteer myself. I can cry on cue.
    3. You seriously didn't open your MacBook for a week?! Please tell me you won't do that when you decide to buy...if/when, when/if you decide to buy some sunglasses. (#partialPhilDunphyquote)

  2. Day made!! I love the code of Onus Goatfish - it makes seeing a therapist sound cool, hipster, and kind of indie. Also granola? The T-shirt is INCREDIBLE. And I love that you slipped in a mini-post in your Morals section - that was good enough to have it's own post! A WEEK?! I don't know anyone who can resist opening the magic sleekness of Apple packaging for more than the car-ride home. For real, the self-control is amazing. That Onus Goatfish of yours must be teaching you some mad life skills. Sign me up!


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