In fact, that is an understatement - right when I wake up in the morning pretty much all I want to do is kill unicorns and suck the color out of rainbows until there is nothing left but cold gray arched carcasses...
I wish I were being dramatic.
I don't get it - every single morning it is the same routine; I wake up all sorts of confused and I have no idea where my body is; meanwhile, I am simultaneously faced with the panicked feeling of being slammed back into reality. Completely unable to tell what was part of my dream I just got ripped out of and what is real life. Bad news bears.
So, in an act to try and counterbalance morning me, the first thing I do is grab my phone, turn on some 'You Make My Dreams' by Hall and Oates music and search all my apps for something that will put me in a good mood.
Well ladies and gents, today I found the jackpot; finally a remedy for extreme morning anger... I may or may not have watched this 17 1/2 times before I even got out of bed this morning.
I don't know if it is:
- the inspiring message of hope and counsel for future generations
- the ultra feminine bass voice
- the mad dance break between I and J
- the neon alphabet ever-present in the background
- that dress
- the successful transplant of Mr. Ed's teeth into a human being
- the fact that 'sexy' is also similar to crouching down to scare someone, shoveling, or a beginners pilates stance.
- the realization that yes, x truly is mysterious
- the special way that claustrophobia gets her hands to dance
- or those sexy skeleton legs that just don't quit...
Also, I'm fairly certain that 1:30 - 2:00 is pretty much what it looks like right before the Grim Reaper comes to take you away...
I hope this changes lives. I know it has mine.
Morals of the Post:
- Naturally M is for me and N is for NEVER AGAIN!
- It is about quality not quantity, isn't it.
- If we learn anything from the 70's let it be that if you get tired in the middle of your music video... go ahead, lie down - you can shimmy just as well on the ground as you can standing up. Thank you Amanda Lear. Thank you.