Thursday, April 22, 2010

You Don't Suck

Do you ever have one of those days when you are having a mild to moderately frustrating day and instead of getting a little sympathy from anyone, you just get slapped repeatedly in the face from the universe telling you to suck it up...

Case in point:

I was having such a day and thought I'd go emotionally eat lunch at my favorite pizza joint. I got a drink, grabbed a straw, and headed to work. When I got to work I unwrapped my straw and this is what I got...


Two things are happening here; anger and disappointment.

  • Anger: What the?! My straw is actually sealed shut?! In all the straws that I have opened in my lifetime I have never been greeted by a defect before; you can't help but to take it personally. Especially when you are now nowhere near a backup straw - you are then forced to move the cup all the way to your mouth and have no choice but to pour the drink down your gullet like a Neanderthal... ugh, effort.
  • Disappointment: If you are going to package me a straw that should belong on the island of misfit toys then don't add salt to the wound by making it look like a Pixy Stick that someone has sucked all the sugar out of... have I not suffered enough?
Moral of the Post:
  • I feel an angry letter to the straw people coming on... so when ya'll see 'inspected by 26c' imprinted on your next straw and no longer have to hold your breath every time you open a straw wrapper to see if you get nothing more than a nub... you'll know who to thank.


  1. haha

    Although I feel your pain, if there is a true straw conspiracy, it's that you have to have a straw. I tried to weed out straws from my life to cut down on my plastic consumption, but I can't tell you how many times I've requested "no straw" with a drink and received it anyway.

    Give in to your neanderthal impulses.

  2. Once my sister got a fortune cookie with a blank piece of paper in it. Not sure what it meant but it could not have been good.

    Also... "Island of misfit toys"?! HAHAHAHA!!!

  3. Oh dear sweet Hawken. Get in these arms of mine. fast.

  4. Okay, so i read this blog entry on friday and then on saturday i was freaking out because i too received a straw with a sealed end! Whaaaaaaa! First time in my life and the day after i read about it happening to you. Freaky!

    Then on friday i went to lunch with some friends and we noticed a crazily dressed, bright lipstick lady and commented about her unique style. Then i went to dinner that night (you were there) and as i pull up i see the same lady was leaving the restaurant! Whaaaaaaaa!!!! what are the odds i chose the same restaurants at the same time? I am in sync with something weird. do do do do (read like twilight zone theme).

  5. Mason,

    Maybe we should perform a little experiment on you and the weird mojo you got going on -

    I just made a post about staple removers - Lets see if any strange staple remover coincidences happen to you over the next few days...

    If so, I will hold off on my post regarding ravenous animal attacks until we can figure out how to de-hex you.

    Here's hoping for the best.

  6. Okay, i think we are safe from any more weirdness of your blogs showing up in my real life. So carry on. ravenous animal attacks...aahahaha


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