Sunday, September 26, 2010

Chili Pepper and Pie

So I have a group of friends that I met at a concert a few years ago, and due to the fact that we stood in line together in below freezing cold weather for hours - and had to huddle for warmth to keep from freezing to the sidewalk we were standing on - we became really close and have been friends since. Each have gone on their own ways these days ... Texas, India, DC, etc... but when the stars align, and we finally get together in one location; magic happens.

One star aligned night, were finally able to get together and we were trying to figure out where we wanted to go to catch up - it was getting pretty late and Lianne was having a pie craving so she suggested Village Inn (Now if you are keeping a running log of red flags in this post, this may be a good place to start.)

We pull up to Village Inn and the place is packed! Riddle me this, when in the history of time has there ever been more customers than employees at Village Inn...


Not to mention there are about 7 police vehicles parked in the parking lot, so it is safe to say that there was either a drug bust going down that we were about to walk right into, or the entire police workforce was on a doughnut break - crime can wait for ten right? So we cautiously make our way in and ask for a table. The hostess took us over to a section where there was absolutely no one and sat us down in a booth.

A little while later, out of nowhere, appears Katie* our waitress (a walking and breathing red flag) there is not enough blog space on the world wide web to adequately describe Katie but suffice it to say that on the busiest night in Village Inn's history - she is captain and master over a section with only one booth.

Turns out that every Wednesday they give out free pie with any purchase (hence the busyness) so we all ordered something little to qualify for the free pie. Oddly enough, that wasn't even the best surprise of the night.

Enter: Chili Pepper

So while our waitress is talking to us this other girl comes up and just starts shooting the breeze with us like we are old friends - now, she isn't a waitress nor had a name tag so we were all somewhat confused as to who this new mystery best friend was. When she came up to our table she pointed at me and the first words out of her mouth were, "Straight up dude, you look like Pete Wentz!" Then she proceeded to give us a personal invitation to watch her, Chili Pepper... you heard me, Chili Pepper, cage fight at the Throwdown arena. She then gave us a handwritten invitation to the fight.

May I repeat... ?!

As Chili Pepper was leaving our waitress came back and asked if we needed anything else - we said we were okay at the moment and she let out a huge sigh of relief and said - and I quote - "Good, because I really need to go take a dump." At that moment, my brain immediately hit that button where you get a 3 second replay of whatever just happened to make sure that, in fact, that did actually just happen. I looked around to Christine, Lianne, and Dave and asked, "Did I just..." "Yeah, you did..." "Ah, Okaaaay... good?"

We finally get some time to start catching up when guess who comes over to visit us again, the waitress you ask? (Afraid not... lest we forget she is still in the bathroom - and by the sound of her sigh, she might be there for a while) my friend, and yours, Chili Pepper. So Pepper, still freaked out by me looking like Wentz, comes up and asks me to do some random sequence of signs, like kissing my fingers and pounding them to my chest and throwing them back out... by this time we are trying are hardest not to laugh, but its also one of those moments that you start looking around the restaurant to see who is hiding around the corner recording you.

So naturally I oblige with the signs and she finally leaves, only to come back seonds later with a deck of cards that she wants to gift us so we could play egyptian rat screw (which I found out has another name, which I'll spare you) if we get bored. Ya know, like you do.

As Pepper left, yet again, our waitress emerged from the shadows with Dave's food. As she sat it down on the table and gave it to Dave she also manhandled all of the silverware, plates, and drink with her bathroom hands... Me, Lianne, Christine all look at each other, then at the food and silverware, then back at Dave as Christine chimed in, "Well Dave... Bon Appetit"

So just when you think it can't get any better... oh it does.

So as we are all watching Dave eat we hear a crash against the glass that is next to our booth and we look over to see Chili Pepper hanging over the edge and asking for our numbers - you know, since we are best friends and all now. Christine was about to explain that she is only visiting from Texas, but I beat her to the punch - Christine's phone was on the table so I was like, "Hmmm, Christine your phone is just right here, you can add it real quick!" Christine shot me a look as her and Pepper exchanged numbers and we assured Pepper that we would get her number from Christine later...

So we decided that this night could not conclude without a picture with Pepper so she came over and insisted that she sit in the middle so we take a pic or two and then she says that she wants one with the girls so she goes over and wedges herself in the middle of Christine and Lianne. Meanwhile, I guess Pepper was running her hands through their hair while I fumbled around trying to figure out how to work the camera.

After the photo-shoot, Pepper pulls out her phone and starts showing us her tattoo designs and top ideas of what she wants to get. The contenders are:
  • Top contender? Mushu. The dragon off of Mulan.

  • Runner Up? Ra. The all seeing eye, and I quote, "You know like the eye that is Omni-pres-sien-tal-cien-seless... [fade out mumbling]
So desperately trying to change the subject we ask about her upcoming fight and asked if it were her first one that she had done. She was like, "No, I had another big fight, it was with my ex-fiance. I won." So when Katie drifted by from who knows where (because she had already told us earlier that we were the only table that she was helping) we asked for our checks so we could get the hell out of there!

When we escaped outside we couldn't believe all that had happened and decided that 'wtf' should be the theme of all the times that we get together because every single time we do, it just gets more and more ridiculous...somehow we attract it. Finally, a group of others who are haunted by awkward as fiercely as I am.

For the next few months Christine would get all sorts of text messages from Peppa... here are just a few.

Morals of Post:
  • Magical things come out of concerts.
  • Even more magical things come out of Village Inn.
  • I love food, this we know... but no amount of free pie will ever get me to go back.


  1. WOW. That story is epic and awesome! I'm for every bit of it. I've totally met nuts like this out and about when reporter, which is why I don't really like to broadcast to everyone in the building that I'm a reporter when I am working. (That was a long sentence.)

    One time a guy sidled up to me at an antique guns, ammo and camo sale, like one of those things they hold at armories every couple of months. He was talking about how he had been in Vietnam and how it was tough, and I was feeling bad for the guy... until he managed that it was all the Jews fault, and went on an anti-Semitic rant for like 10 minutes. ack.

  2. For reals, if I hadn't been there, I don't know if I could believe that story. I'd even forgotten a few details about the waitress until you mentioned them. The amazing part was the way Pepper was so natural about the photos and phone number exchanging. She probably has had lots of practice with her UFC fans. In all honesty though I felt bad that I never texted her back to at least let her know I didn't live in the state . . . What an epic night.

  3. Lol, oh Hawk how you always find yourself in such great moments I'll never know! :)

  4. I want to see the picture of this Peppa

  5. oh wow... so much awesomeness in one evening. free pie?! a cage fighter chic?! a dumping waitress?! i mean... WOW.


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