Bra Secrets

Today Shannee covered herself in salsa while wearing a new white shirt. This is inevitable. She is the saddest/messiest eater I have ever known. This girl might as well put the food on her before she attempts to eat it, just to get that step out of the way. It truly is an incredible talent she possesses.

After the salsa incident...

Shannee: Dah, I'm going to invent one of those Tide Stain Remover stick thingies that you can hide in your bra...

[Silence as she stares down at her shirt.]

Shannee: (more agitated) for messy girls like me...

[Silence as she stares down at her shirt.]

Shannee: (louder and angrier) agh, this is  such b.s.

[Silence as she stares down at her shirt.]

Shannee: (defeated) Why does this always happen to me?! I AM A GOOD PERSON.

Morals of Post:

• Dear Shannee,
                            Maybe you're not.
  
  
•  I am perplexed at this 'hidden Tide stain removing pen in the bra' concept... Is this not the sole purpose of why girls have purses in the first place?! What are the qualifications for things being hidden in a bra as opposed to things which are demoted to being carried around in a regular ol' purse?
  
  Confused. Yet, intrigued.

You Don't Suck

Do you ever have one of those days when you are having a mild to moderately frustrating day and instead of getting a little sympathy from anyone, you just get slapped repeatedly in the face from the universe telling you to suck it up...

Case in point:

I was having such a day and thought I'd go emotionally eat lunch at my favorite pizza joint. I got a drink, grabbed a straw, and headed to work. When I got to work I unwrapped my straw and this is what I got...

Really?

Two things are happening here; anger and disappointment.

• Anger: What the?! My straw is actually sealed shut?! In all the straws that I have opened in my lifetime I have never been greeted by a defect before; you can't help but to take it personally. Especially when you are now nowhere near a backup straw - you are then forced to move the cup all the way to your mouth and have no choice but to pour the drink down your gullet like a Neanderthal... ugh, effort.
  

• Disappointment: If you are going to package me a straw that should belong on the island of misfit toys then don't add salt to the wound by making it look like a Pixy Stick that someone has sucked all the sugar out of... have I not suffered enough?
  

Moral of the Post:

• I feel an angry letter to the straw people coming on... so when ya'll see 'inspected by 26c' imprinted on your next straw and no longer have to hold your breath every time you open a straw wrapper to see if you get nothing more than a nub... you'll know who to thank.

Blogging Tickets and Cold Soup

I got my first blog related ticket. So pretty much I think I have just jumped from novice blogger to hardcore blogger status.

I was suppose to meet with Becca and Addi for lunch the other day at a Chinese joint. I sorta slept in. The worst part is that the night before I had haggled Becca into having lunch at 11:30 instead of 2:00 because I'm pretty much starving for lunch by 10:30. I thought it was a great compromise. Unfortunately, due to not being able to sleep the night before - I definitely overslept. When I woke up I completely forgot about lunch. So I got up and sleepily started blogging and around 11:45 I got a call from Becca - panic - I told her I was nearly on my way (mostly left out the part that I had to shower and get dressed too...)

I told Becca to order my usual and I would be there before they even realized I was gone. So as I am cruising over, a cop was coming the other way over a bridge and turned his lights before I even past him. What the?! Can they even do that? I guess there is a first for everything. I quickly sent out a distress text to Becca telling her that I was just pulled over. The officer ended up giving me a ticket for 14 over, which may or may not have been pretty generous considering the fact that I was clocked going 28 over... Then he thanked me for wearing my seat belt and how much he appreciated it. Jokes on you copper, I flung my seat belt on while you were pulling your kamikaze u-turn maneuver to pull me over - Its the little victories that keep me going.

So about an hour late to lunch I finally get to the restaurant and find Addi packing my meal into a to-go box. As I was thanking him Becca informed me that he was mostly trying to cover up the tracks of how much of my fried rice he had eaten. Clever.

Also, it turns out that if you let egg drop soup completely cool before you eat it it turns into a solid. So by the time I got there I had just enough time to chew my soup, eat Addi's leftovers of my meal, and enjoy the 9 minutes of company before I had to be at work.

Moral of the Post:

• Always wear your seat belt - but if you kind of forget and get pulled over... hurry and put it on while the cop is not looking... it may be the factor that drops your 28 to a 14.